Showing posts with label writing. Show all posts
Showing posts with label writing. Show all posts

Wednesday, October 23, 2024

Did I EARN it? What's next for service to literacy? The Vessel, Unity Learning Communities, and 12 Kids

It seems like a lot happens around the dinner table, coffee tables, and gatherings of folks.

The summer after third grade, I sat at the formica and chrome table to watch my mom teach my brother David how to read. The harvest gold refrigerator hummed nearby. The same one under which I used to hide my HILCOA vitamins.

By fifth grade, I was assigned a first grader to help learn to read. At the antique dining room table we bought from an estate sale from down the street, Mom helped me create manipulatives, handwriting paper, and flash cards from a book called Recipe for Reading. I still have the book...tattered and faded. 

During college, I heard a sermon on Romans 1 after the Lord's Supper Table. Reprobate minds and stuff. I remember thinking about what this meant for reading and reasoning. As I pondered, all the ideas were the same ones we saw in Figure 19 many years later and all the things in the Comprehension Strand beginning in 2019. Comprehension became a lifetime obsession. 

Doneice Ray allowed me to teach a first grade class as a long term sub when I graduated in '91. Wow. What an experience. Did I really know how to teach a person how to read? Did I even know about the Guided Reading table? Nope. The next semester, I was honored to teach for her in fifth grade. I stayed long enough to have those former first graders in my fifth grade class. By that time, I was figuring out a few things. 

Thirty three years later sitting at the granite bartop next to stainless steel appliances that don't last 10 years, I'm still figuring things out and the search continues for supporting comprehension in all readers and thinkers. 

Since retirement...I've been struggling. There's this scene at the end of Saving Private Ryan that summarizes my thoughts. Have I been and done what I've been gifted and charged to be? Have I earned it? 

And then this summer... Tremaine Brown, Jacob Breeden, and I put our heads together on a project over a piece of brown butcher paper in the dining room at Shi Lee's Soul Food. You see, Tremaine tries to make The Heights a better place for his daughter and all those around him. He's fed people so their tables and tummies are full. He's made sure they have clothes. He makes sure they have school supplies. He makes sure they have fun at holidays. But how could he help them with literacy? And we all know that success in school is complicated. Lots of reasons kids and teachers struggle. With the Vessel and Unity Learning Communities, we want to tackle all the barriers to literacy. 

In January, we'll begin with 12 kids. 5th and 6th graders that struggle with reading and writing. A counselor will lead a group of four teachers - three kids per adult. And a "grandma" figure will be the mentor for all of them. The community at the Warford will partner with us. 

As students of AISD, they've had all the literacy interventions. Powerful initial instruction and remediation. But yet, there are those that still struggle and aren't qualified for services like special education or emerging bilingual support. And there are those that have struggles related to society and living life in this century. We'll dig into those issues together, solving and supporting the struggles together. 

Honestly, it's a giant experiment. The Amarillo Area Foundation has funded a portion of what we need to begin...and we are honored by their investment in our children's future. This month and the next, we are meeting with teachers and counselors to collaborate on a set of challenges, processes, and key vocabulary and theoretical underpinnings for our approach. In January, we'll begin meeting with kids...thought partners and co-creators with them to cause their own success and growth. 

Along the way, we'll all be writing and documenting the process and outcomes...telling the story of what happens around these new tables.  Won't you join us? Learn more, connect, and join us here:  https://www.beblessedbythevessel.org/home 




(AI) Machine Scoring isn't the Problem: We are ALL Writing for Bots

I've been meaning to write about this for a while. But by now, many people have seen the scores and papers on STAAR exams. Very few essays have needed rescoring. Everything is going to be ok for both content scoring and mechanics. The scoring machine isn't the problem. Instructional relevance is. 

Yes - there are many things we still don't know about the language models used and how machine scoring actually works. That IS a problem but one of transparency from the agency, not for instructional implications.  

So let's think about how we can USE scoring realities to help make the process meaningful to those we serve. Here are five points that explain why we directly teach why machine scoring is relevant to daily life:  

1. All social media works with algorithms. You want to be seen and heard? You use terms and structures that the algorithm values. The scoring machine is looking for key terms from the text and prompt. 

2. Things like Netflix and Youtube give you content based on your behaviors. What you do changes what you are presented. You want to understand how to do the same for readers - even machines? Learn how to respond to reader needs with your text. 

3. Search engines work on what is promoted and searched and clicked frequently. Want a high score? Write what the rubric promotes and seeks. Want a high score? Use what's in the source text that fits the prompt. Scoring works like a giant Family Feud. Other students have already responded to this prompt with the source text and answer. The scoring machine "surveyed" a BUNCH of student essays and knows what most writers said and how the people scored their responses. Comprehend the text and the prompt. Use the text stuff in the written response, summarize how it fits into the text, and say in original thoughts about the connection to the ideas in the prompt. 

4. Search engines use key words to scan content and then matches those terms relevant to user's search terms. Want to be "seen" by the engine? Use terms that match what people want to see. For example, I've been writing for Sirius Education Solutions about thinking and reasoning in a project called Page to Pixel. There's a guy who reads over my stuff, restructures WHERE certain terms appear in the text, adds terms throughout, and chooses special search terms to embed in the code. I have no idea how the code works, but I can see that the key stuff goes in the intro, key connections to the topic are spread in each portion of the headings and body text, and the key stuff also goes into the conclusion. Sound familiar? We trace meaning and coherence through word choice and how we connect our topics through organizational structure. So, want a high score? Use key terms from the prompt and text in the intro and conclusion. Thread those ideas through each body paragraph with text that shares the same ideas/synonyms/textual context. The guy who edits my work for this puts these terms in bold so I can see how they thread through the text. I can see the connection and repetition of concepts through the entire text. 

5. Companies use machine scoring to preview resumes, cover letters, and communications. Priorities are given to text that includes what the company is looking for in the match of personnel to the job description and company goals. Understanding machine scoring is intensely personal and relevant to all those who are seeking employment. 

Machine scoring isn't new. Digital evaluation going on in the background of almost everything we do and see. And teaching without including explicit lessons on the relevance of these scoring machines isn't in the TEKS, but we'd be remiss if we didn't address the reality directly. 


Monday, November 6, 2023

Resource for SCR Scoring Guide for ALL Grades and Content

    TEA is a huge entity. If you could hear my accent, huge would have several syllables for emphasis. Size is the only reason I can figure out that some people get information and others don't. The people involved there do the best they can to balance security, permissions, and other stuff - but it's frustrating. Just today, I saw a post that someone didn't know that 3rd graders could be assessed with an argumentative prompt on any kind of genre of reading. 

    Texas Council for the Social Studies had a conference in October of 2023. Jo Ann Bilderback and Carmen Trejo presented for West Ed and TEA. (Someone who knows the connections can explain that to me sometime.) The resources associated with the session were created in February of 2023. Looks like the session was also offered in Region 14 at some time as well. Winter. 

    And now it's November. Next month our high school retesters will be taking the exam again. We need (and needed) this information. And it looks like great stuff! Why are we finding out about this stuff on accident? Why are only certain folks getting access? What am I missing? I try to be on top of things and to study, research, and attend sessions. What should we all do to have timely access to critical information? 

    I looked online where TEA posts recent presentations. Can't find it anywhere. So here it is: 

SCR Training from the TCSS conference

General Session Slides

RLA Content Slides

Science Content Slides

SS Content Slides

RLA Annotated Docs 

Science Annotated Docs

SS Annotated Docs

Now the question: Is there something out there about ECR that would help us? 

Another training from September.


Thursday, February 10, 2022

Writing to Reading in 2023 STAAR

Writing to Reading

Caution: This year, 2022, is NOT the time to be teaching this for test prep. It's time to wait and see what the data says and final decisions by TEA. Now is the time to think, reflect, and develop our own knowledge about reader response. 

In 2023, students will be writing extended constructed responses (multiple paragraphs) based on what they read, "writing to reading." In other words, students will be writing in response to what they are reading: "writing in response to reading." 

This means that students will not be receiving a prompt that asks them to write an informational or argumentative essay. It means that they will be writing using informational or argumentative techniques to respond to a prompt about a text they have read. (Decisions have not yet been made on what genres will be assessed for each grade. Decisions have yet been made if the genres will be different each year. Decisions have not been made if the genres will be announced before the test.) As you know, all genres listed in the TEKS are available for assessment purposes. I can't see how they'd ever ask kids to write poetry or drama, but I do think we could see them writing in response to those genres. My opinion only. 

Caution: Just because students will not be asked to write from an informational or argumentative prompt, it does not mean that students should not be asked to write them in class. Just because it isn't assessed doesn't mean that we shouldn't be doing it. 

Hypothetical Examples

For example, in third grade, students learn about argumentative texts (9E). They also learn to distinguish facts from opinions in (9Ei). Students may (remember - the jury and field test data are still out) be asked to read a passage and answer a prompt explaining their opinion about something in the text. Their opinion becomes their claim (9Ei). Then students must use facts and details (9Eii) to support their claim. Students take a point of view and attitude (9Eiii) and pull support from the reading to justify their claim. 

4th grade students may read a personal narrative or story and be asked to write an informational essay comparing and contrasting the characteristics or actions of two characters. 

Students may read a paired passage about a topic and be asked to write a problem-solution response to the information presented in the article. 

The prompts are carefully designed with the information in the passage to ensure that students know the expectations to pull from the prompt and structure their writing response appropriately. We will know more about this after field testing. 

Tuesday, July 6, 2021

Writing Like an Insider: Identifying as a Scholar

This morning, Dr. Lesley addressed the Llano Estacado Writing Alliance about Joining a Discourse Community as a Scholarly Writer. While that floats my boat personally, her ideas made me think about the writers I will encounter in the fall. Here are some ideas that I want to preserve and communicate. 

  • Teachers of writing should write. I will be finding my voice as a writer. This will feed my instruction and support for students and teachers. 
  • Writing Fluency is more complex than reading fluency. (Lesley, 2021 presentation)

 Hmmm. Here's the definition that Dr. Lesley shared with us:

Writing Fluency: The ability to produce written language rapidly, appropriately, cognitively, and coherently (Latif, 2013)

Students need to become aware of the components of their writing fluency. Our instructional activities should be explicit about the goals and the ways in which we achieve writing fluency. We want our students to begin writing after diffusing the prompt or assignment, not from a disjointed stream of consciousness, but from a capacity that considers deep meaning and the genre characteristics and conventions that will accurately and effectively deliver the message to their audience. They need to know how to get that kind of writing fluency going automatically. 

  • Each writing even it a unique rhetorical event (Lesley, 2021 presentation).  

That's why it feels like you are starting over each time. That's why there is no formula. The rhetorical situation will always be different. Do we let kids know that this is true for everyone and every writing task? Do they know the struggle is normal and they are not alone? 

  • Writing is inquiry (Lesley, 2021 presentation).  

YAAAAS. It is always new. We are always rethinking and rewriting - learning all the while. Writing is thinking made visible in ink, graphite, or binary code. 

  • We learn to write and investigate our thinking through writing (Lesley, 2021 presentation).

How do you learn to do something? You get in there and do it. You learn about the something and a lot more about yourself. 

  •  Scholarly Voice: scholarly voice is about contextualizing the research, situating the study and the researcher personally (Lesley, 2021 presentation). 

We write so they can see our face and hear our voice and know our personality. The way we write exposes our thinking and our personality. Do the kids know it doesn't have to be stilted or boring? 

  • Introspective writing helps students move into a creative space where they are free to play with language, capture descriptive details, elaborate on the seemingly insignificant and juxtapose disparate ideas against each other. Introspection allows the writer's self to be present in all facets of the writing act (Lesley, in press). 

Wow. That's writing like an insider. So here's my questions to guide instruction in the fall. 

1. How do we help kids write like an insider for particular genres if we don't teach them how to read a text for how it is structured and the techniques the writer is using? How do we teach them to dissect a text not just for comprehension, but for CREATION for their own purposes? I need to create lessons and opportunities for this work...to go beyond comprehension to CRAFT. Our Texas ELAR standards have two Knowledge and Skills statements for craft. One is to analyze craft. The other is to USE craft for their own meaningful products and performances. 

2. How do we help kids write like an insider if they never read the kind of stuff we are asking them to write? We need more mentor texts that kids have written. 



New Spin on Blueprinting: Plotting the Future at Walkon's

 Three Teachers Talk recently wrote about the architectural approach to prewriting at a tried and "still" true method. Honestly, since I first experienced it in the Abydos Writing Institute, it is the best method to collect and store memories that can be used for writing of all genres, not just the introspective. 

Then I went to Walkon's Sports Bistreaux. Being a food snob, I had shunned the place, shuddering at the thought of poorly prepared bar food. But the Boudin Balls were a welcome surprise. But... as we were seated, the waitress set down these napkins: 



And she told us the story of how Brandon and Jack sketched out their dream as their team flew home after playing at the University of Tennessee. They blueprinted their dream, y'all. And the other side of the napkin was an invitation to prewrite...to plan something new...to dream and sketch the plan. 

Cheers to you and your dreams. I'm headed back to Walkons for another serving of those fried rice and pork balls. You think they will give me a package of those napkins to use with the kids? 

Cheers to you and your dreams. 



Friday, March 5, 2021

STAAR Writing Student-Friendly Rubric

People ask me all the time if I have a student friendly rubric. Hmmm. I think it’s already pretty basic. Maybe that’s just me. Be sure to read all the way to the bottom. I like using the score point 4 from the scoring guide: Gretchen has this one: But you have to use her strategies for all of it to make sense. Her remediation packet is really powerful as well. 

 HOWEVER: People keep asking. So I made this one. Let me know if it is useful.

The Moral and Medical Imperative of Teaching Writing and Grammar in Context

For the  concluding activity on Day 9 of the Abydos institute, I was inspired to write down what I needed to use for our concluding activity. This writing expresses my deep conviction about why it is so important that we teach writing and grammar in a constructivist and progressive manner. We had just studied the brain and the implications on writing instruction. Then we completed this activity.

The Moral/Medical Imperative of Teaching Grammar

Concluding Activity for Day 9: Brain Day at Abydos


Topic: The link between education (writing) and health - from Aging with Grace: What the Nun Study teaches Us about Leading longer, Healthier, and More Meaningful Lives, by David Snowdon, PhD. 


The prompt: 

“...on September 22, 1930, Mother Mary Stanislaus Kostaka, the Superior for North America, sent a letter to all the convents requesting that each novice write an autobiography before she took her vows. The letter called for a short sketch of their life: 

This account should not contain more than two to three hundred words and should be written on a single sheet of paper...include a place of birth, parentage, interesting and edifying events of childhood, schools attended, influences that led to the convent, religious life, and outstanding events,” (Snowdon, 2002, pg. 66-67). 


The discovery: 

Vocabulary: “When these women were in their twenties, just a few days before they took their vows, they all wrote autobiographies...We’ve discovered that those who had the richest vocabulary, the most complex sentences, the most ideas in their sentences - sixty years later those were the sisters…” who were aging with grace. They used more multisyllabic (particularly, privileged, and quarantined) vs monosyllabic words (girls, boys, sick). Those that developed Alzheimer’s used common multisyllabic words (religious), while healthy controls used more rare words (grandeur). Simply, “healthy sisters had a richer vocabulary in early life and may have read a more diverse section of literature as children,” (Snowdon, 2002, p. 107-108). 


Grammar: There are many ways to measure language: “morphemes, left- and right-branching sentences, conceptual propositions, lexical repetition, and anaphora,” (Snowdon, 2001, p. 108). There are two concepts here worth noting: idea density and grammatical complexity. 

  • “...idea density reflects language processing ability, which in turn is associated with a person’s level of education, general knowledge, vocabulary, and reading comprehension”

  • “Grammatical complexity...is associated with working memory capacity” (Snowdon, 2002, p. 109).


The examples: 

These are the excerpts from the nuns with the highest and lowest scores for idea density.  


Introductions: 


Sister Helen

Sister Emma

I was born in eau Claire, Wis., on May 24, 1913 and was baptized in St. James Church.

It was about a half hour before midnight between February twenty-eighth and twenty-ninth of the leap year ninety-hundred-twelve when I began to live and to die as the third child of my mother, whose maiden name is Hilda Hoffman, and my father, Otto Schmitt. 


Grammatical Complexity: 


Sister Helen

Sister Emma

My father, Mr. L.M. Hallacher, was born in the city of Ross, County Cork, Ireland, and is now a sheet metal worker in Eau Claire. 

My father is an all around man of trades, but his principal occupation is carpentry which trade he had already begun before his marriage with my mother. 


References to Siblings (Depth): Note the connection to meaning, purpose, and audience from the prompt. 


Sister Helen

Sister Emma

There are ten children in the family, six boys and four girls. Two of the boys are dead. 

Already two, a brother and a sister had begun the family which would gradually reach the number of eight...When I was in the fourth grade death visited our family taking one to whom I was very particularly attached, my little brother, Karl, who was but a year and a half old. He was called to his “Home” after three weeks of very much suffering on Good Friday early in the morning. The pastor was willing to have the funeral services conducted before Easter, but I was hoping and praying that my parents would not consent, for I thought since he died on Good Friday he might be in our midst, living, on Easter Sunday. The services were held on Monday morning which I was privileged to attend since we were quarantined. 


Conclusions: 


Sister Helen

Sister Emma

I prefer teaching music to any other profession. 

Now I am wandering about in “Dowve’s Lane: waiting, yet only three more weeks, to follow in the footprints of my Spouse, bound to Him by the Holy Vows of Powerfy, Chastity, and Obedience. 


Upon Aging: The excerpts are so different. Yes the backgrounds for each nun were similar. Both nuns went to school for 12 years before writing these excerpts. Both went to college and received a bachelor’s degree.  There the similarities end. Sister Emma earned a master’s degree. Yet, somehow, what and how they composed at 22 became a stark predictor of who would struggle cognitively as they aged. 



Sister Helen

Sister Emma

Mini-Mental State Exam (1992)

0

30, the highest score for overall cognition

1993

Died at 80; autopsy confirmed Alzheimer’s disease

“alive and mentally intact” 


Another sister’s results encapsulate another astounding relationship to the importance of writing and grammar. (There are also other variables for such results such as: staying active, continued cognitive pursuits, emotional support, attitude of gratitude, faith, diet, lack of heart disease or stroke, etc.) Sister Mary’s results confounded the researchers. 

At 101, her cognitive tests and mental acuity were impressive. When she died of colon cancer at 102, no one had suspected any kind of dementia of Alzheimer’s disease. Yet, her brain weighed 870 grams. Of the 117 brains in the study, only five of them had weighed less, and all of them exhibited extreme symptoms of cognitive decline. Sister Mary’s nurses hadn’t noticed cognitive declines over the ten years in their care, nor did the assessments given by the researchers. 


Activity: Place participants in a large circle. Begin with a large ball of yarn. Stand in front of a person across from you in the circle and ask the participant to hold the ball of the yarn while you hold the end. State something you learned from your exploration of the Brain Research Stations as you walk back to your position in the circle. The person across from you now takes the ball of yarn to the person to your right, and explains/shares something they learned from the research. The person then takes the ball of yarn to the person to the right of who previously shared. (This will make a criss-cross pattern in the circle. People will need to hold the strings above their heads as others walk through. 


Once everyone has shared, have participants shorten their strings to make a compact circle. Place balloons between strands to represent glial cells. Place lotion on the strings to represent myelination. Pop the glial cells to represent what happens to the support/framework when the cells die. (The string dendrites can still support the network.) Add a tangle of yarn to an area. (The thoughts can still be accessed through another route.)  Pop some of the glial cells to show the impact of aging. Show that the complex weaving of our strands still holds up some of the strands and how we can still get to thoughts/memories through other pathways.


Implications: A diagnosis of Alzheimer's requires a scan at the autopsy to determine plaques and tangles that interrupt and collapse neural networks. Sister Mary’s brain had “three times the average number of tangles in her hippocampus seen in the other sisters. Intriguingly, however, she had very few tangles in her neocortex, and she had no infarcts that marked a stroke; this may explain why she was spared the symptoms of Alzheimer’s disease,” (Snowdon, 2002, p. 206). 


Conclusion: Can we help develop the infrastructure of the neocortex to be more dendritically dense? Grammar and cognition and contextual memories are stored in the neocortex. The frontal lobe. As teachers of writing, we know how to teach introductions and conclusions similar to what Sister Emma wrote. We understand the grammatical constructions of complex sentences and how to use them to create depth and connection between ideas in ways that Sister Emma used to convey her experience and intentions. 

What we don’t see is that our work is building neural networks across the glial cells of our students. We don’t see the additional dendrites crossing and weaving between and among brain cells of our scholars. We don’t see how these connections travel the ladder of glial cells to the proper storage areas of our apprenticed thinkers. We don’t see the myelination of connections between synapses that solidify and protect the pathways of thought for storage and retrieval of information for our students who are those who will contribute powerfully to our future. And after they leave our classrooms, we do not see the continued cognitive and medical benefits of a life well thought and well written.  

Excerpts from Nun Study Biographies

Introductions: 

Sister Helen

Sister Emma

I was born in eau Claire, Wis., on May 24, 1913 and was baptized in St. James Church.

It was about a half hour before midnight between February twenty-eighth and twenty-ninth of the leap year ninety-hundred-twelve when I began to live and to die as the third child of my mother, whose maiden name is Hilda Hoffman, and my father, Otto Schmitt. 

Conclusions: 

Sister Helen

Sister Emma

I prefer teaching music to any other profession. 

Now I am wandering about in “Dowve’s Lane: waiting, yet only three more weeks, to follow in the footprints of my Spouse, bound to Him by the Holy Vows of Powerfy, Chastity, and Obedience. 

Grammatical Complexity: 

Sister Helen

Sister Emma

My father, Mr. L.M. Hallacher, was born in the city of Ross, County Cork, Ireland, and is now a sheet metal worker in Eau Claire. 

My father is an all around man of trades, but his principal occupation is carpentry which trade he had already begun before his marriage with my mother. 

101Depth: Note the connection to meaning, purpose, and audience from the prompt. 

Sister Helen

Sister Emma

There are ten children in the family, six boys and four girls. Two of the boys are dead. 

Already two, a brother and a sister had begun the family which would gradually reach the number of eight...When I was in the fourth grade death visited our family taking one to whom I was very particularly attached, my little brother, Karl, who was but a year and a half old. He was called to his “Home” after three weeks of very much suffering on Good Friday early in the morning. The pastor was willing to have the funeral services conducted before Easter, but I was hoping and praying that my parents would not consent, for I thought since he died on Good Friday he might be in our midst, living, on Easter Sunday. The services were held on Monday morning which I was privileged to attend since we were quarantined. 




STAAR Aha!: A List of Revising and Editing Skills Assessed

 In general, we know that CUPS and ARMS are what we are looking for. But the TEKS are less specific as the grades advance. For example, we know that students are supposed to spell correctly by English I. But what exactly is assessed in spelling? After analyzing the released tests, I found some sub categories that we can use to make mini-lessons for review and instruction. It will be helpful for kids to know exactly what kinds of things they will be looking for in the questions. 

Editing Skills Assessed

Revising Skills Assessed

Tuesday, October 27, 2020

Progression of Success Criteria for (STAAR) Informative Writing

Kendall Wright, Jamie Brigman, and I were working on assessment capable learners (Fisher, Hattie, Frey, ) . After a baseline writing prompt and a comparison of sample essays, Kendall wanted students to be able to determine where their essay fit in the progression of papers and to evaluate where they were in their own progression of learning. After doing so, she wanted students to be able to set goals. 

Yet, she felt that leaving them open to crafting their own goals might be too vague and might drift from the unit goals and expectations. We brainstormed some statements, organized them into a progression, and then created this document as a resource. (Kendall will be using the blog post referenced here as her lesson progression and approach to the writing assessment.) 

The draft of the document we created is below: 

Progression of Success Criteria for Informative Writing

 

Thursday, June 18, 2020

Imitating Grammar to Understand Purpose and Craft

Here is an example from Imelda Enriquez. As we collaborated for this assignment, we were really

able to capture how grammar intersects with Author’s Purpose and Craft. When we imitate sentences,

we are doing more than imitating a grammatical structure. We are also looking at why an author would

have used the sentences in this way to reveal character and theme. Another important distinction here

is that our work is not about correcting things that are wrong, but analyzing the impact on the reader. 


Students will read an excerpt from “Wonder” by R.J. Palacio.


“I know I’m not an ordinary ten-year-old kid. I mean, sure, I do ordinary things. I eat ice cream. I ride my bike. I play ball. I have an XBox. Stuff like that makes me ordinary. I guess. And I feel ordinary. Inside. But I know ordinary kids don’t make other ordinary kids run away screaming in playgrounds. I know ordinary kids don’t get stared at wherever they go.”

-Wonder by R.J. Palacio 


The excerpt has many short sentences. I would ask students why Palacio wrote it that way.

By using short sentences, how does Palacio give the reader information about the character?

Normally, we’d ask students to combine sentences to make them flow better. But Placio chose NOT to.

Let’s look at what happens when we combine them. 


“I know I’m not an ordinary ten-year-old kid. I mean, sure, I do ordinary things like eat ice cream, ride my bike, play ball, and play XBox. Stuff like that makes me ordinary, I guess. And I feel ordinary inside, but I know ordinary kids don’t make other ordinary kids run away screaming in playgrounds. I know ordinary kids don’t get stared at wherever they go.”


How does your view of the character change? 


Here are some of my thoughts…



Original

Revision

Significance

I eat ice cream. I ride my bike. I play ball. I have an XBox. 

I mean, sure, I do ordinary things

like eat ice cream, ride my bike,

play ball, and play XBox.


By teasing the different items out in sentences on their own, they are each a punctuation of a list. They emphasize all the WAYS he is different. This becomes more important later in the paragraph because the whole point of this passage is that the kid ISN’T normal to other folks. 

Stuff like that makes me ordinary. I guess.

Stuff like that makes me

ordinary,I guess.

These are very different choices. In the first one, he makes a statement. The next sentence shows you that he disagrees with it. Or at the least that he’s not sure about it. In the second one, the “I guess” just sounds like an afterthought.

And I feel ordinary. Inside. But I know ordinary kids don’t make other ordinary kids run away screaming in playgrounds.

And I feel ordinary inside,

but I know ordinary kids don’t

make other ordinary kids run

away screaming in playgrounds.

Wow. This one is shocking in comparison. Look how Palacio makes “inside” its own sentence. That fragment emphasized that Auggie feels about NOT being ordinary. And that it is a fragment is also significant because when people react the way they do, it must tear him into pieces. 


This structure also begins to take us to where the author is headed with theme: what is ordinary? Should what is on the outside determine that?


Tuesday, June 9, 2020

Rules or Tools of Grammar

I just found the most wonderful example of how Jeff Anderson's Patterns of Power can illuminate how we apply Author's Purpose and Craft to Grammar. Tara Salmon, from Highland Park, and I have composed this lesson exemplar for you as an exemplar for the Region 16 Grammar Geeks course.

I know Jeff...and he would always agree that grammar is about how we craft language to impact the reader. Our standards require us to go beyond the grammatical structures and rules to explore how they help us as readers and writers. 

If you are skimming the article - look for when I change the font.

The lesson below is an exemplar of how grammar is connected to how we read and write with craft and purpose. 

Standard: Complex sentences with subject-verb agreement and avoidance of splices, run-ons, and fragments. (Composition, Editing: Grades 6-12, Di)

Focus Phrase: I will write complex sentences using correct punctuation and subject-verb agreement. 

Invitation to Notice: Because he was small, Stuart was often hard to find around the house. Stuart Little, E. B. White


To Consider:   
  • Rule: When the AAAWWUBBIS comes at the beginning of a sentence, a comma follows. If the AAAWWUBBIS comes in the middle of a sentence, there is no comma needed. 
  • Craft: What is the impact on meaning and prosody when those structures are used? How is the author using those structures to develop the character, advance the plot, or express theme?

Invitation to Compare and Contrast:  
  • Because he was so small, Stuart was often hard to find around the house.
  • Stuart was often hard to find around the house because he was so small.
  • Note the grammatical differences between the two sentences. Note when a comma is needed and when it is not.
  • Note the impact each has on you as a reader. What changes in terms of the writer's emphasis? What changes in your visualizations and comprehension?

Invitation to Edit:  Compose the sentence in both ways and analyze the effect on character, theme, and meaning.
  • When his best friend disappears from her nest Stuart is determined to track her down.
  • Stuart is a lover of adventure although he's shy.
  • Since he lives in New York Stuart is used to city life. 

Reflection: What did we learn about writing from this author? What changed? Name the effect of the change you wish students to consider.

What is the IMPACT of using the dependent clause first? What is the IMPACT if the independent clause is used first? For the example here, I would say that the author's purpose is to emphasize how SMALL Stuart is. The main point is not that he is hard to find - that's just an example. The main point - and emphasized throughout the book is that he is SMALL. This is important to establish his character traits when he is introduced because it is a huge contrast to the optimism he marshals despite the huge deck stacked against him. I guess what I'm saying is that we have to go beyond grammatical structures and rules to express how they give us vehicles for power and beauty in discerning the author's message and the ability to craft our own contributions.

Teacher's Application to Writing: Here's how I'm using it today: "Because I was already irritated before entering the building, I continued to find it difficult to focus throughout the rest of the day." I'm liking this better than the other way around: I continued to find it difficult to focus throughout the rest of the day because I was already irritated before entering the building. The second version makes it seem like the point was the difficulty in focusing instead of the CAUSE. It also delays the emotion until the ending of the sentence. I want my reader to feel my irritation way before the end of that sentence.